The Most Wonderful (and Triggering) Time of the Year
The holiday season brings lights, laughter, and — let’s be honest — a ton of emotional landmines. For people in early recovery, the holidays can stir up memories, family dynamics, grief, stress, and the cultural pressure to drink or “let loose.” At The Nook Sober Living, we don’t pretend that staying sober during the holidays is easy. But we do know that it’s possible — especially with structure, community, and a clear plan.
Whether it’s your first holiday season sober or your tenth, here are a few key principles we share with our residents this time of year.
Plan Ahead
Triggers don’t wait politely until January. They show up when the pressure is on, when people are drunk around you, when your family says something that cuts deep, or when you’re feeling lonely on Christmas Eve.
That’s why preparation is everything.
- Know where you’re going. Avoid ambiguous or unstructured events. Have an escape plan if needed.
- Bring your support. This could be a sober buddy, a sponsor on speed-dial, or even a pre-set group text where you can check in.
- Keep your meetings close. Hit a 12-step meeting before the big dinner. AA and other fellowships often have “marathon meetings” on holidays for a reason.
Redefine What Celebration Means to You
A huge part of early recovery is rewriting the old playbook. At The Nook, we encourage our residents to lean into the discomfort and actually create new traditions — ones that aren’t centered around alcohol or old habits.
Some of our favorite holiday traditions include:
- Hosting Friendsgiving-style dinners at the house
- Beach volleyball or pickleball tournaments on Thanksgiving morning
- Secret Santa gift exchanges and movie marathons
- Serving meals or volunteering as a group
The goal is simple: celebrate connection, not consumption.
Watch Out for “Just This Once” Thinking
Holidays are prime time for relapse rationalizations. The brain can start whispering things like:
- “It’s just one drink — it’s the holidays.”
- “No one will know.”
- “I deserve to relax after all the work I’ve done.”
Nothing good happens from testing your recovery at a time when everything is already emotionally heightened. You don’t owe anyone a performance. You don’t have to show up to every event. You don’t have to pretend you’re not in recovery. You just have to protect your peace.
Embrace the Power of Community
One of the most powerful tools we offer at The Nook is community. During the holidays, isolation is dangerous. It’s easy to feel like you’re missing out while the world is drinking eggnog and pretending their family isn’t falling apart.
But the truth is, there are so many of us choosing something different — and doing it together.
Being surrounded by other men who are walking the same path makes a huge difference. There’s laughter in the discomfort. There’s pride in making it through. There’s freedom in telling the truth about how hard this season can be, and still showing up for it anyway.
Gratitude Isn’t Corny — It’s a Survival Tool
Gratitude isn’t just for Thanksgiving. It’s a tool to rewire your mindset when the going gets tough. At The Nook, we make gratitude part of our nightly structure because we’ve seen how effective it is in redirecting resentment, loneliness, or self-pity.
This season, try this:
- Make a daily gratitude list (3 things, no matter how small)
- Text someone you’re thankful for
- Acknowledge your progress — being sober today is a miracle
You Can Do This — and You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Staying sober during the holidays doesn’t mean hiding out or pretending you’re not struggling. It means choosing a new way to show up for yourself — one that prioritizes your health, your goals, and your recovery.
At The Nook Sober Living in West Los Angeles, we’ve created a home where holidays can be meaningful, connected, and even joyful — without drugs or alcohol. Whether it’s your first sober New Year’s or your fifth, you’re not alone.
If you or a loved one is looking for a supportive, structured environment this holiday season, reach out. The best gift you can give yourself is a safe place to grow.